How about some Gilbert & Sullivan?
(Sung to the tune of "Better Far to Live and Die")
Oh, better far to be undead
Than to live a human life instead
My stately home, my glorious manse
With a staff that caters me at a glance
Werewolves see to my every need
They love me when it’s time to bleed
I hardly lack for nary a thing
As Mississippi’s Vampire King
For I am a Vampire King
And it is, it is a bloody good thing
To be a Vampire King (2x)
Three thousand years above the ground
Have made me the canniest king around
For who could ever want to know
The Vampire King of Idaho
I seek a Queen to share the throne
(But I fill that requirement on my own)
For Talbot is as a wife to me
When my scepter calls for TLC
For I am a Vampire King
And it is, it is a jolly gay thing
To be a Vampire King (2x)
You see, it’s incomparably great
To reign o’er this Magnolia State
And according to this plan of mine
I’ll soon own the rest of the forty-nine
When Wall Street is the last to fall
(That shouldn’t take much effort at all)
Then all will shout, “Hurrah! Hurray!
The Vampire King of the USA!”
For I am a Vampire King
And it is, it is a powerful thing
To be a Vampire King (2x)
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