Monday, July 19, 2010

Make Up Like Shakespeare!

Jarheads, what a day this was...

What started out as a cool little time-waster on my part suddenly transmogrified into a moment of national exposure, as my contributions to the Twitter feed #ShakesPalin suddenly took on a life of their own, and my fondness for things political and theatrical combined with my love of wordplay garnered the notice of no less than Time Magazine, among others.

It was, to say the least, a blast.

But my coup de grace, my coup de theatre, my piece de resistance (ok, I'll stop now) would be to take Cole Porter's "Kiss Me Kate" crowd-pleaser "Brush Up Your Shakespeare," and Tweet it, line by line, over the Interweb. Here, with as many lines as you might require for the number of curtain calls you'll need, and to be delivered like a stock performer in an Edward G. Robinson gangster flick, is...


Make up like Shakespeare!

Start coining new woids!

Make up like Shakespeare

Though they think you're for the boids!

If you're queried by Katie of Couric / Just declare an 'Alas, my poor Yurick!

If you've never read Coriolanus / Then a pit bull with lipstick's your canis!

If the ghosts in Macbeth are a chiller / Well, that act never played in Wasiller!

If the dress that you wear is a rental / Be like Kate, as a shrew, temper'mental!

If you think Africa is a nation / Lemme tell ya, Ot'ello ain't Haitian!

Quote some Reagan to those you are pitchin' / Though Cordelia and Gon'ril start bitchin'!

And if Titus Andronicus scares ya / Hell, the rest of the nation bewares ya!

And if Bristol's young Romeo will wed'er / Just recall, at the end, no one's dead'er!

And if no one who's thinkin' will heed ya / Blame that ol' liberal lamestream media!

If the Bush Doc-tor-ine is yer folly / Smile and wonder, "In what respect, Cholly?'

If yer phone calls from France are so cozy / Verify that the guy is Sarkozy!

Though the death toll in Hamlet's abhorrent / Say Barack will sign Gramma's death warrant!

And if just like Ophelia yer nutty / Change the topic: "My daughter ain't slutty!

Though they claim you're a blameless virago / Look what buck-passing did for Iago!

If a Ground Zero mosque has ya hatin' / Swap a 'P' and be refudiatin'!

Make up like Shakespeare

Watch the Right kowtow

(Oh Todd!)

And the Left will vow

(You betcha!)

This all...ends...Now!

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