Well, I knew that eventually it was gonna come to this. One cannot spend a lifetime equally enraptured with the worlds of Horror and Broadway Musicals without someday wanting to get a little chocolate in the peanut butter, and vice-versa. And I've definitely been feeling more creative than analytical of late. A few nights back I spent a considerable amount of time on the Interwebs looking for material on Frank Jacobs, perhaps the longest-serving writer in the history of Mad Magazine. He's been something of a comedic jack of all trades, but for those of us who grew up in the 1970s, nothing surpassed his brilliant musical parodies, especially when he turned his talent to creating tuners out of decidedly non-musical property, utilizing his deep affection for classic Broadway repertoire, and a marvelous ear for scansion. Take Jaws, to the tune of "On the Street Where You Live" --
I have never felt such great fear before
I have also never sung to sharks out here before
But, to the best of my knowledge, he never tackled a musical Horror movie. And so, in that, uh, vein, let's begin a series of posts with humble lyrical aspirations -- to weld the glory of song to great moments in the Horror canon. And let's begin with that 1973 Oscar winner, The Exorcist. We'll do one song lyric per posting, not necessarily in chronological order, until I get tired of each movie and move on to the next. And by the time we're done, we'll have enough material for a delightful, demented review. So...the dry ice is ready to be dropped into the buckets, the conductor's baton stands at attention, and we bring you the first tune from The Exorcist - The Musical!
(sung to the tune of "Oklahoma!")
When the bed starts rockin' on the floor
You can see your breath
And know your death
Is a-standin' right outside the door
Ev'ry night these holy men will try
To repel the Beast
So ev'ry priest
Can avoid that pea soup in the eye
Oh we know her behavior is odd
But we know she belongs to our God
And so we pray (crash!)
An Adoramus te (pow!)
Because we're sayin'
You're outtta line, Oh Pazuzu
Oh Pazuzu...go 'way!