See in the sky the eagle soaring Hear how the German Shepherd bays Smell when the bull responds to nature Out in the fields where cattle graze Now is the time I long to join the chase Now is the time I leave without a trace The human race
Soon I’m gonna change And you’ll see it Soon I’m gonna change Be prepared Soon I’m gonna change And become something new
Soon I’m gonna change Think and be it Soon I’m gonna change Don’t be scared Soon I’m gonna change Wish you could do it too
I’ll have four limbs like a dog Perhaps four claws like a cat Or grow a snout like a hog Oh, please don’t run away
After I have changed Then I’ll need you After I have changed Need you so
After I have changed That is when I dare suppose You’ll stay with me And hold on to my clothes
I may be big as a horse I may be small as a mouse Whatever I am, of course. I won’t decide to stay
For when I’m changing back Back to human When I’m changing back In my nude
When again I’m me Naked as any jay . Well, that’s the time you’ll see my art After all the years of practice, boy, I’m smart Carefully I turn and hide my private part Away
This one was just ever so much fun. More stanzas could follow. Please imagine extended dance breaks...
(Sung to the tune of "America")
REGAN Why did you call in an exorcist? I’ll have a ball with your exorcist Give it your all, Mr. Exorcist Back in the hall you go, exorcist
KARRAS Get thee behind me you Satan REGAN I hope you do not mind waitin’ MERRIN God’s holy power compels you REGAN I wouldn’t buy what He sells you
Think you can bring in an exorcist Look how I’m flingin’ your exorcist Your ears are ringin’ now, exorcist You like my singin’ now, exorcist?
KARRAS She’s just a child, have pity REGAN Go back to Vatican City MERRIN You will be gone by the morrow REGAN Why am I sounding like Charo?
You can’t defeat me, you exorcist Never will beat me, you exorcist Step up and greet me, you exorcist Then you can eat me, you exorcist
MERRIN Don’t give up, we may be winning REGAN Wait til my head begins spinning KARRAS God’s will is sure to take over REGAN I’ll give this room a makeover
Stop bible-quoting now, exorcist Satan is gloating now, exorcist It is worth noting now, exorcist That I am floating now, exorcist
Your fortitude is appalling MERRIN Feel how the temperature’s falling? REGAN Soon you’ll be meeting your sure doom KARRAS Who put this statue in her room?
REGAN You cannot win, Mr. Exorcist Save your own skin, Mr. Exorcist Once I am in, Mr. Exorcist Leave her to sin, Mr. Exorcist
I was hesitant to put this one up for a number of reasons. I'm definitely taking a tongue-in-cheek approach to these parodies, but the self-sacrifice of Godric has been one of the emotional highlights of the series for me, and I didn't want to diminish its impact with snark. On a certain level, the song that the moment brings to mind is perfect as is, requiring little adaptation or revision. Also, you can find bigger fans of ALW out there than me, and I just couldn't keep those bridges from feeling clunky, but then I figured - hey, the original bridges are clunky (singing the words "gutters, mutters"? Not pretty). So while this might smack of something that a 13-year old would write in her school notebook, I still submit the following...
(Sung to the tune of "Memory")
Daylight See the dawn of a new hour As the nighttime is fading Shadows wither away Like a sunflower I yearn to turn my face to the dawn I am waiting for the day…
Midnight Now my source of resentment I am weary with memory Sick of standing alone At each twilight The human souls collect at my feet And the wind begins to moan
Memory Once I stood in the sunlight I can smile at the old days It was beautiful then I remember the time I knew what happiness was Let the memory live again
Every moment Seems replete with fatalistic warning Vampires warring And the world ignoring And soon there will be mourning
Daylight Now I wait for the sunrise I must hope for a new life Find my strength from within When the dawn comes My life will be a memory too And a new day will begin
May my sacrifice preclude The battle that’s a-borning When humans die, another life takes over Now let that day be dawning
Touch me Eric, you must believe me You alone hold the memory And know what should be done Now release me It’s time I knew what happiness is
(Sung to the tune of "Better Far to Live and Die")
Oh, better far to be undead Than to live a human life instead My stately home, my glorious manse With a staff that caters me at a glance Werewolves see to my every need They love me when it’s time to bleed I hardly lack for nary a thing As Mississippi’s Vampire King
For I am a Vampire King And it is, it is a bloody good thing To be a Vampire King (2x)
Three thousand years above the ground Have made me the canniest king around For who could ever want to know The Vampire King of Idaho I seek a Queen to share the throne (But I fill that requirement on my own) For Talbot is as a wife to me When my scepter calls for TLC
For I am a Vampire King And it is, it is a jolly gay thing To be a Vampire King (2x)
You see, it’s incomparably great To reign o’er this Magnolia State And according to this plan of mine I’ll soon own the rest of the forty-nine When Wall Street is the last to fall (That shouldn’t take much effort at all) Then all will shout, “Hurrah! Hurray! The Vampire King of the USA!”
For I am a Vampire King And it is, it is a powerful thing To be a Vampire King (2x)
(Sung to the tune of "Another Hundred People" from Company)
BOB There’s a man outside my window on the wing of the plane I can see through the rain Wait, he disappeared - oh no, I think I see him again And he’s poking around Look, he’s ripping at a panel on the wing of the plane And he’s looking at me And I’ve got to explain Though they think I'm insane I just have to say…
Ev’rybody’s in danger Listen to me, understand The plane is in danger Must tell the crew, got to land
STEWARDESS Excuse me, sir Don’t cause a stir I have to ask you to re-take your seat and to please remain
JULIA I’m sorry, miss, he hasn’t been himself, he’s been under strain Gotta stop it, sweetie or you’ll wind up you-know-where again.
BOB Please forgive me, honey, I could swear I saw him standing there He was big and fuzzy, like a strange mutated teddy bear Do you have some Bayer, ‘cause I feel a pain It’s the one I get so often, deep within the brain Give me two, I’ll toss em back and have a glass of some champagne And I’m really wishing now that we had taken the train
(Sung to the tune of "On the Street Where You Live")
We have always lived on this street before But we’ve never seen such evil and deceit before From the neighbors who we once thought we knew On our dear Maple Street where we live Does your Chrysler start? Have you any lights? Why, I’ve seen you up and working late so many nights And your picket fence could be evidence For j’accuse on the street where we live And oh! The heightening feeling That our friends are not what they seem It’s such a frightening feeling That any second we could wake up from this dream Is it Commie plot, or attack from Mars? Well, we'll teach them not to tangle with the Stars n’ Bars Honey, grab my gun, ‘cause it’s time to run And defend Maple Street where we live
And of course, a coda from the aliens...
Now you see the plan? Pure simplicity Be selective when you cut off electricity Once they’re feeling stressed, nature does the rest As we take every street where they live
I realize that I tempt fate by writing song lyrics for an ongoing project whose characters are in flux, knowing full well that something may happen on a Sunday night to render my work irrelevant. Ah, so be it. For those of you who think these postings should deal with more timely source material, here's the first in a series of True Blood musical soliloquies, coming from a character who has become one of my favorites -- tortured teen vampire Jessica. (Keeping with my custom of only choosing songs from Broadway shows, my choices from my beloved Bacharach / David are limited to only one tuner - Promises, Promises - so I have to choose wisely and well. I was taken by how this re-purposes the song's title. What in the show is delivered with the sub-text "I won't fall in love" becomes here "I can't fall in love.")
(Sung to the tune of "I'll Never Fall in Love Again")
What do you get when you fall in love? When you’re a vamp, you just get trouble Then be a teen, it seems like double I’ll never fall in love again I’ll never fall in love again
How do you feel when you kiss a boy? When you got fangs, just like a sinner Then, in a snap, he looks like dinner I’ll never fall in love again Dontcha know that I’ll never fall in love again.
Don’t tell me that it’s all a phase I’ll be like this till the end of days Don’t you let Twilight try to sell you That is why I’m singin’ to tell you
What do you get when you fall in love? A pain in the heart no stake could rival Chewing on boys for your survival I’ll never fall in love again No, no, I’ll never fall in love again
Don’t tell me how a love could be ‘cause I can’t lose my virginity All the sweet boys will only scorn you That is why I’m singin’ to warn you
What do you get when you fall in love? A boy who’s content to be your buddy Cry in your sleep, your pillow’s bloody I’ll never fall in love again Dontcha know I’ll never fall in love again I’ll never fall in love again
