Poetry Corner - I Shall Not See SAW VI Today

I shall not see Saw VI today
I shall not see it, come what may
And if you're asking why I won't
Or why I shan't or why I don't
Then I am here to say to you
My patience waned with #2
And when they put out #3
I thought someone was yankin' me
And one year later, #4
Dear God, how can there still be more?
Next, 5 arrived, and who could dare
To blame me if I didn't care?
So here we are, another Fall
And I won't see Saw VI at all
See, Lionsgate is funded by
This turnip they are bleeding dry
Each year, each sequel is a lock
To further elevate their stock
Well, fool me once, the shame is mine
But six is where I draw the line
I'm sure he's nice, but Tobin Bell
Can take his film and go to Hell
I'll sit and hope it comes to pass
That Paranormal kicks its ass
I know there are so many dudes
Who, on the day that Saw concludes
say, Bind them all as one, and let
Them go for purchase as a set
That way, when at the video store
There's only ONE thing to ignore
Which I intend to do this day
No matter what the ads may say
I don't care if it's Halloween
I shall not see it on the screen
I shall not see it with a crowd
Who thinks too small and talks too loud
I shall not stream it on the net
That is unlawful, don't forget
I shall not see it with a friend
Unless I want our bond to end
I shall not see it from my car
I shall not blog it for The Jar
Not in 3D or on IMAX
My presence will be what it lacks
Nor in a screening for the press
(Like that is gonna happen, yes?)
On DVD or Ray so Blu
It shall not join my Netflix queue
Not Showtime, HBO or Starz
If it's on Venus, I'm on Mars
And if it plays on my TV
On CBS or NBC
Though to an hour edited
I'd sooner watch the ads instead
Go on, adapt it as a play
Although intrigued, I'll stay away
Not if the cast should start to sing
Not if the script's from Stephen King
E'en if Scorsese you should get
Take back his Oscar statuette
I shall not budge, I'm resolute
To give each future Saw the boot
And that is why I'm here to say
I shall not see Saw VI today
So hear me now, and hear me when...



...I re-post this in 2010.