One of the more eye-opening phobias I've discovered through my YouTube searches is an intense, horrified reaction to the corporate logos that appear at the end of television broadcasts - born in childhood and, in rare cases, carried through to adulthood. They're tagged onto the end of telecasts that are often kid-friendly, but seen through the impressionable eyes of youth, they may take on a violent, menacing quality. Among both corporate types and those afflicted, many of them have acquired names: Viacom's "V of Doom," Screen Gems' "S From Hell," and for my money, the nastiest of the bunch, Paramount's "Closet Killer," an angular, borderline-atonal stinger guaranteed to raise your hackles. Coming after a benign cartoon show, they felt like a sucker-punch to many kids. This is absolute fodder for my friends over at Kindertrauma, where I've posted about a couple of my kiddie nightmares in the past - not connected to any logos, mind you, but terrifying nonetheless. (People, do NOT make any effort to dredge up that anti-heroin toy monkey commercial from the late 60s / early 70s - I NEVER want to see that again!)
The S From Hell is a short film that will be premiering at Sundance this month, one that interests me as much as any of the full-length features being offered. And, truth be told, I had never given that Screen Gems logo much thought...but now that you mention it, there's something about the pinched, almost nasal quality of the music tag...and the way the bars swim into frame to intercept the dot...
OK. I'm now creeped out. Here's the trailer for The S From Hell, as well as a compilation of some of the most notorious logo traumatizers.
Since I don't want to leave The Jar totally unattended while I deal with familial issues, I submit for your approval this sketch from the very short-lived but very influential The Ben Stiller Show, which according to its YouTube counter, has been seen far too few times. This is from 1992, and it's wonderful how Stiller nailed that cheap one-set look that was emblematic of Tales from the Darkside and Monsters. (And that's Dave Cross with a last-minute cameo.) You may never eat in a family-themed restaurant again...
This 70s horror novel received renewed interest in 2001, when it was noted that its jacket illustration bore an eerie resemblance to the events of September 11th. What was the title of this novel, later to be turned into a movie of the same name?
Friends of Zelda Rubinstein have reported that the actress has rebounded, that her vital signs are good, and that initial Interweb accounts exaggerated the severity of her illness.
If there is a silver lining to my recent familial health concerns, it is that they're occurring at the same time that I have asked a very dear friend to become my "sister blogger," representing another viewpoint - that just happens to be feminine - to keep things here at the Jar fresh and exciting. (Smart asses among you are saying right now that I already had the feminine angle covered. Like I said, you're smart asses.) And if you'll recall I said in an earlier post that there might be some examination of the best that the decade had to offer, but it wouldn't be coming from me.
I've been friends with Andrea Keller since she became the life partner of my former cohort in film reviewing on the radio and fellow blogger coffeefortwo. When the coffeeman and I presented The Reel Thing together in the early 90s, it was given that I would handle the reviews of Horror movies ("Here, you like this stuff"), which usually left my partner underwhelmed. The fact that he is now legally bound to someone whose eyes sparkle at the mere mention of Luther the Geek is cosmic justice meted out, ensuring that their connubial Netflix queue include, between the Fellini and the film noir, a few direct-to-DVD that all but hemorrhage. Let me tell you - should you visit their moutaintop aerie to discuss cinema, you'd best bring your "A" game. Hell, I think even the dogs are conversant in the filmography of Lars von Trier.
I'll be very upfront with my motives here: I think that Andrea will be a major voice in the Horror blogosphere, and she is welcome around these parts anytime she wants to drop by. Shower her with encouragement, friends - we're all gonna be the better for it. And so, without further ado...
My horror tastes are clearly a product of my early over-exposure to adult cinema:The Shining (is nine too young? Yes.), Alien, John Carpenter’s The Thing, and Halloween, to name a few.However, I did deep-dive into the straight-to-video horror produce of the late 80’s and early 90’s on many a beer-laden Saturday night, and have ridiculously strong emotional attachments to a few gems of the era (The Unnamable and Luther the Geek come to mind).That said, my viewing lagged in the 00’s due in part to the nasty trend of snuff-level horror that pervaded the theaters, the ridiculous number of soul-dampening remakes (thanks for nothing, Rob Zombie), and the endless Slasher flick knock-offs.Thus the following list may fail to recognize many of the more obscure productions, and perhaps they are overly-appreciative of a few as a result of going in with low expectations and coming out the other end in love with the genre all over again.
Pitch Black (2000)
If the “Is Riddick the killer?” suspense doesn’t quite satisfy, you’d still be hard pressed to give up on this beautifully imagined alien world populated by lethal nocturnal inhabitants living on a 22-year planetary cycle.The re-entry crash sequence alone is worth mentioning, for its ability to outshine most slicker productions (The Core as a prime example), but things really get hopping when the sun cycle sets, the winged, exoskeletal creatures take to the skies, and the only person able to see them is the one person who shouldn’t be trusted.The visual artistry, predictable (in the best way possible) deaths, and characters like the fantastically tortured and tough Captain-by-default Carolyn Fry, make this film more engaging than most.
The Devil’s Backbone (2001)El espinazo del diablo
This movie requires total immersion.Let yourself sink into the culture, the orphaned children’s point of view, the war, the architecture…and you end up with a visually distinct, moody, and complex ghost story that grabs you and doesn’t let you shake it loose.One of those truly chilling films, it manages to tap all your primal childhood fears (dark corridors, murky waters, threatening adults) and stir them up to the surface.With time, the plot may get hazy and the history lesson may fade, but the images that made you flinch in terror will always lurk around the corner.
Cabin Fever (2002)
Coughed-out contagions, slip-sliding skin peeling off in reams, gun-toting hillbillies, and a gaggle of horny college kids trapped in the woods…perfection.There isn’t a wrong note hit in this film as it takes the cliché’, runs hard with it and delivers all the gore and laughs that a self-aware film can deliver.This is the sort of picture that inspires you to dredge through the straight-to-video shelf, desperately seeking those sparks of brilliance that walk between wit and wickedness.
The Descent (2005)
Trapping six women with competing personalities and painful histories in a small confined space for a weekend sounds like a recipe for horror regardless of the cinematic genre.But the gorgeous reds and blacks that develop underground as the women fight for their lives against a reasonably-concocted albino humanoid population brings the complexities of female relationships to a visually graphic level.This may be the first straightforward horror flick that showcases the physical and emotional strengths of women without any external interference (read:boyfriend, detective, truck driver, rescuer…the list is endless).
The Host (2006)aka Gwoemul
Going into this with medium-expectations (not a fan of the recent slew of Asian horror imports), this film delivered a fantastic thumping, diving, eating-machine of a monster terrorizing the local population and leading to some entertaining subtext on both the South Korean government (information control) and the U.S. presence in their country (heroic on the one hand, manipulative on the other).Tadpole-like in concept, the monster is the star of the show – but the heroics of teen school-girl Ko A-sung (can’t escape those mini-skirted uniforms can we?) came in a close second.
Pan’s Labyrinth (2006) aka El Laberinto del fauno
Fairy-tale, parable, war-time fable…but with horror in its heart.Pan’s Labyrinth delves into the emotionally painful real world and the monstrous, quest-laden imagination of Ofelia as she tries to survive her brutally harsh situation in fascist Spain (circa 1944) at the hands of a sadistic stepfather.The fairy-world is vividly imagined with gorgeous details and childlike formations of fear, but the real world is where the true horrors exist.Of this entire decades-worth of film I doubt you could find a torture sequence so chillingly executed and with such editorial precision as to allow one’s mind to fill-in-the-blanks to such a gruesome effect.
The Orphanage (2007) El orfanato
Seeming traditional enough at first, this film falls into the supernatural/haunting category as it follows Laura, Carlos, and their adopted son Simon into an old converted orphanage with a dubious history.Then Simon disappears and the film starts to twist and turn…is it a revenge tale, the house itself, or perhaps the mysterious “imaginary friends” of Simon?The direction and acting are superb and the jump-sequences are worked at with Hitchcockian, finesse.If more bump-in-the-night stories were handled with this level of dedication I’d be a bigger fan of the sub-genre.
The Mist (2007)
Perhaps appreciated best when viewed in the luscious B&W version, Frank Darabont’s inspired adaptation (and direction) of a middling Stephen King short story delivers everything from 50’s-inspired monsters (giant spiders, tentacled behemoths) to religious zealots inciting blood sacrifice – and he wraps up the tense, action-packed flick with an ending so emotionally brutal that makes the final solution to The Thing (1982) look upbeat in comparison. The film gracefully slides between the horrors inflicted by the bevy of monsters and the horrors humans inflict on each other.Nothing typifies this theme of a lack of faith in humanity as when the improbable hero/store clerk Ollie states “As a species we are fundamentally insane.”
Let the Right One In (2008)
Vampire movies these days tend to reach for the Goth, Angel-esque slick tone more often than not - eschewing the more animalistic, raw elements of this age-old myth. Entirely dumping the sexualization of the Vampyre and instead dwelling on the symbiotic needs between bloodseekers and the sheep-like human population, the film showcases both survival at its basest and how relationships can make life itself worth continuing, Let the Right One In delivers a moody, dark and gutteral story of a boy in need of a friend, and a vampire in need of a companion, and it delivers gore in such a realistic, slaughter-house literalism that our own fears of mortality rise a bit closer to the surface.
Shaun of the Dead (2004)
One trend that can’t be ignored in the 2000’s is the renewal of the Zombie Movie.For better or worse, from Zombie Diaries (realism) to 28 Days/Later (zombies on speed), it is the decade of the Zombie…and perfectly timed within this era comes this fantastic spoof/homage.The zombies are slow, stupid, and ripe for the picking.The non-zombies are degrees of slow, stupid, and ripe for the picking.Horror with a dash of humor, humor with a dash of the macabre, the two are inexorably intertwined in our psyches and it is with relief that one can, when a good thing comes along, laugh outright at the gore on screen.
Worthy mentions:Bag Head and Jack Brooks, Monster Slayer
Those of you who have been regular readers of The Jar know that I speak often about and with great love for my parents. My mother taught me to read, and my father enabled a lifetime passion for the written word. Any blog with the subtitle about having "the heart of a 13 year old" is going to deal at some point with those people who were my heart when I was chronologically that age.
After a slow slide into Alzheimer's and dementia, my mother passed at the age of 74 in January of 2008, leaving my father, now 81, to soldier on for himself. If you want to cultivate a mental image for my dad, just picture latter-years George C. Scott in both appearance and temperament, and you won't be far off. He was a boxer in his halcyon high school days, and took pride over the years for his sheer physical strength. However, that disposition also was a tragic flaw when sickness paid a visit; he could be very convincing at fooling most that there was nothing wrong, but who knew what battles were being waged within that body.
On New Year's Eve, he complained of indigestion, and difficulty in breathing. He was suffering a massive heart attack, but went through the night and did not allow my only sibling. my ten-year older brother, to take him to the ER until 11:00 the next morning. The doctors are amazed that he is alive, given the amount of blockage that they have subsequently discovered in his heart (an issue that he, and they, knew was always going to demand attention, but with his diabetes, they were proceeding with caution). At present, one lung is filled with infection, the other with fluid, and once those conditions are dealt with, he will have the necessary bypass. But again, he is 81, and all such procedures are very, very dicey at that vulnerable age.
All of this is my way, Gentle Readers, of explaining that I may not be around these parts as much as I would like in the days, maybe weeks ahead. I'll still be posting, just without such great frequency, I expect. To relinquish posting entirely would not please my dad very much, who never wanted me to worry about him, and I think could never quite figure out how this strange younger son of his developed such a passion for music, art, theater and, yes, Horror. After all, he's a fighter...and he doesn't like losing, and turning away from The Jar right now (boy, that "Heart" in the title makes me feel a bit queasy) would be throwing in the towel.
...in the Senski household was the putting away of Christmas gifts (the tree stayed up until January 6 - twelve days, dontcha know) and, as the TV was tuned to football, the card table would be set up in the living room, and that would become the place for the family puzzle, with at least a few of them - the bigger the better - having served as presents just a week before. Now, while I can't offer you one of the 5000 piece monsters that were our stock in trade, I can offer you monsters of a different sort. If they had these types of puzzles when I was six years old, I might never have left that card table.
Sometimes you come to the Jar for cogent commentary, lacerating wit, and unimpeachable research. And sometimes...ya just want a jigsaw puzzle.
One of the more eye-opening phobias I've discovered through my YouTube searches is an intense, horrified reaction to the corporate logos that appear at the end of television broadcasts - born in childhood and, in rare cases, carried through to adulthood. They're tagged onto the end of telecasts that are often kid-friendly, but seen through the impressionable eyes of youth, they may take on a violent, menacing quality. Among both corporate types and those afflicted, many of them have acquired names: Viacom's "V of Doom," Screen Gems' "S From Hell," and for my money, the nastiest of the bunch, Paramount's "Closet Killer," an angular, borderline-atonal stinger guaranteed to raise your hackles. Coming after a benign cartoon show, they felt like a sucker-punch to many kids. This is absolute fodder for my friends over at Kindertrauma, where I've posted about a couple of my kiddie nightmares in the past - not connected to any logos, mind you, but terrifying nonetheless. (People, do NOT make any effort to dredge up that anti-heroin toy monkey commercial from the late 60s / early 70s - I NEVER want to see that again!)
